To my Future Partner
This month has filled with a whole lot of wedding events and talk about weddings. This got me thinking about the possibility of my future partner. So this one is for whoever you are.
I am sorry it seems to be taking us this long to get our shit together. Please forgive me for the delay, I have been trying to find myself in this chaos of life. I'm not sure what your excuse is but hey - not much we can do about it now.
Things you need to know about me, I am strong willed and in that aspect sometimes I get set in my own ways. Although I seem to be very outgoing there are moments where I need to recharge and disconnect, I won't want to talk and it's not about you, it's just my way of getting myself back to being whole. I am very ambitious when I have a goal, if I don't make those goals I get extremely critical with myself and sometimes beat myself up even more than I should - just give me a little extra love and tell me it's going to be okay. I have been hurt so many times, when you tell me you love me - I will doubt it so much it'll push you away. I am not the most romantic person in the world but I am poet and on random days I will flood your phone with poem after poem on how much I love my life with you. On the other end - I am a poet and during our arguments I will use the swift fleeting words as a razor sharp blade to cut you deeply (give me 5 minutes to cool down, I'll utterly regret it and ask for forgiveness). I need to feel important or have significance to feel fulfilled in life. I need cuddles and kisses but space to breathe.
When we argue, give me 5 minutes and bring me food. That'll solve more than half our issues. Understand that I never give up, I am relentless when it comes to you. I want you to be the best you can possibly be - I will push you to the points where you think it's nagging but know my intentions are to help you thrive in your own greatness.
I am sorry in advance for my family - they will hate you no matter what. It doesn't matter what you do...they will always hate you (ahaha). But thank you for choosing to love me with a child not of your own blood. Please love her as your own, you may be my heart but she is my soul.
Get ready for my smart mouth, inappropriate jokes, super lame jokes where I will laugh at myself, and know you will forever be written in poems. Be my best friend and biggest support. Understand it takes me time to really open up and to trust. Thank you for being my everything wonderful and loving me through the fire as I start to rise.