8/21 - for the low days
This post entry is a toast to myself, to remember on the lowest of days.
This entry is very important, I do a lot of times embrace chaos, it's what I am used to and normally thrive in. Life has been pretty great for me. Even though nothing is going negative or wrong I had a huge anxiety attack last week. It slowly grew throughout the week, I felt myself slowly leaning to the negativity. Finally on Friday I couldn't stop myself from crying. There was this huge ache in my chest, it felt like blood was rushing at the tips of my body. It was hard to breathe and everything felt like it was going so motion compared to my racing mind. I was panicking, and even though I was counting and trying to ground myself, this was too big I couldn't calm myself.
I called messaged the people close to me, to see who could help, who could be there to talk to me. Normally I don't reach out to others, I hate to feel like a burden for others but I couldn't help myself. I told them how I was feeling, they told me how I am now at a place in my life where things are better than ever. That this was my time to enjoy the calm and to focus on my goals.
As I had calmed down, I thought back to how much my life has changed in the last 5 years. My life is completely different and I am so blessed and thankful for all that has happened. I realize that even though I am not where I want to be in life doesn't mean I won't get there. I have been through a lot and have changed drastically, be it my outside appearance or the inside, I am proud of who I am becoming.
I lost weight and went from a size 13 to now a size 3.
Got a divorce
I have doubled my salary
My daughter is thriving in a school she loves
Work is good
I finished USC
I am almost done with writing my first book
I help run a successful business
My friends are amazing
Like everything has changed and I am blessed.
So right now I have achieved everything and some. So now is the time to applaud myself because I have changed my life drastically and I was the one that did it all and worked hard for it.
So now I am going to finish my book and have it published and start working on the next part of my life where I can continue to grow and improve what I have.
I am a serious badass and I am so proud of all that i have done and need to appreciate the peace!