6/21 - permission

this post i am supposed to be writing about giving myself permission to be me, to be the best version of myself.

everyday we are supposed to be given permission to be anything but our truest selves.

we live in a society today where being ourselves is something else. with social media everyone is trying to pretend to be more than they are, a lot of people showcase fake lives and pretend to have this perfect lifestyle. they seem to have this keeping up with the jonses or something. even if you are in a failing marriage, they parade as if they are completely happy.

not sure where things will go the more time people rely on social media as their life. i try and keep my personal life as private as possible, because it is still my very own life.

so permission to myself is granted everyday to be the best version of myself,to do my best to allow happiness and be okay with it. i have a hard time letting myself be happy. i constantly self sabotage when i feel things are going too well just because i constantly feel like i am less than worthy of happiness. im used to struggle and im used to pain, i was told i would never be happy and i didnt deserve it. that i would never amount it, here i am trying to prove to myself everyday that i do deserve to be happy. this is a struggle i personally deal with and i plan to overcome. i give myself permission every day to be the best happiest version i am.

sorry for the random passage and i doubt it makes sense, i am extrmemly tired and just want to sleep. think i am more than delusional!

good night world! sorry to bore and not make sense!

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